Today, I will deal with a not-so-pleasant flavour of life – Salty. It is a turnaround from the sweet and cute love story that preceded this one but then again life is a blend of all six tastes isn’t it? It would be bland without each and every flavour lending its uniqueness. Do give me your views regarding this
Life is a bizarre journey, and often at times you don’t know what emotional outbursts you are going through. “What shall I call this feeling?” – The voices from within cry till you understand that it’s time to accept what you never wanted to face.
“Are you still online?” I thought of asking Megha, my ex-gf.
I couldn’t realize that we are not in touch any more. I wanted to ask her so many things but she was out of my life. Megha and I broke up a long time back. Although it has been almost three years now, I regularly checked her FB wall, her images, and whatever was happening in her life. Last time I saw her she was slimmer, but yes I cannot deny that she still looks as attractive as always.
Her girlish charm is transforming into that womanly aura I always searched in her. Megha has changed, and so has her life. She’s now with someone else. Happy and contented with her life, is she? I don’t know why I always wanted to see her happy, yet her being happy pricks me somewhere. Her million dollar smile makes my heart beat even now. Needless to say I still download all those pictures of her that she has made available for me to check out. Off course! Why else would she anyways keep it on Facebook in the “Public view” mode? We aren’t friends anymore, neither are we foes! May be I am the most familiar stranger that she has ever known.
“Big Day…… Getting married to the love of my life”, Megha’s Facebook wall had this post highlighted with 78 likes and 39 comments.
“What a showoff!” I thought to myself.
“Why is she doing this, just to show me how happy she is?” I thought again.
“Her stupid games and tricks…” I kept mumbling to myself.
I started scrutinizing her wall posts all over again. “Who’s the poor sucker?” I said to myself in a mocking tone. I began investigating silently…
“Ronit Chopra, Okay so this is him. Looks so fake, like a loafer or something.” I consoled myself.
“The guy is good looking, and genuine. You know it Akash, accept it” a voice from within knocked the words into my head. I logged out of the pseudo profile I use to checkout Megha’s Facebook wall posts, and logged back onto Facebook with my own user id this time. However, I couldn’t find Megha anywhere.
“She has blocked you.” The same voice echoed in the dark empty room. “I know” I replied with a chocking voice. “But it’s hard to accept it” I replied back to that invisible voice. “I kept searching for her in the Facebook search box, but she didn’t appear. She was lost. She was gone from my life, just like the way I was gone from hers. I know she was happy, and I was happy for her too. But, this feeling of her being happy without me was hard to accept and I broke down in tears. “She blocked me because she didn’t want me to see her FB wall, her posts; all those messages were for everyone else except me. All those images of her weren’t for me to admire. I don’t mean anything to her anymore.” And these realizations stung me like needles.
“Life’s a mix of various flavors Akash” the same invisible voice kept on saying.
It is often difficult to understand the feeling you are undergoing, and for you it is refusal to accept it. It is hard to face rejection, like the grain of salt, which when added in excess spoils the taste of any dish. However, there are more tastes in life that needs to be relished.” Saying this, the voice went blank. Everything was silent, but tears rolled down my cheeks, and reached my lips. “Salty….” I said in despair and shut down the computer and went off to sleep…